Uh, Oh, Here Comes Certainty!

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Have you had an experience when you were certain, absolutely certain of something only to find out you were 100% wrong?

I experienced this a few weeks ago. My husband and I went to the movies to see a film based upon a book we’d read several years ago. The film’s ending was not as I remembered the book’s ending. I mentioned this to the stranger sitting next to me who stated she hadn’t read the book and asked how the endings differed. I went into detail describing the book’s ending.

My husband gazed at me quizzically, then stated he knew it had been a few years since he’d read the novel but he thought the movie and the book shared similar endings.

I was adamant this was not the case and repeated my memory of the ending.

While I was in the restroom, my husband googled the book’s ending. He shared the results of his search which proved his statement. The book and the movie ended the same way.

No way! His info must be inaccurate. I was certain the ending was different and wouldn’t trust his search.

When we arrived home, I did my own search and found out I was 100% wrong!

I became speechless. How did I remember the ending so differently?

Why was I so fixated on my certainty? What was so important to me about being certain/right?

This simple example stimulated my thinking about certainty and uncertainty. Why didn’t I react with curiosity? Why was I so rigid and unyielding in my response?

The ending I believed to have been written aligned with my values.

There was nothing “wrong” with the true ending except that it didn’t align with my values.

I don’t mean values as morals. In coaching terms, our values are a synthesis of who we are and what is important to us at this point in our lives. Examples of values in coaching terms might be freedom, flexibility, structure, independence, honesty, decisive, team player, and so on.

When we recognize and understand our personal values, when we can name them and own them, we provide our own insight into how we feel and act.

If something occurs in our life that is contrary to our values, it will bring up feelings that can range from confusion/concern/adamancy, like my example, to very strong, negative emotions.

Wouldn’t it be helpful to have a new tool that helps you understand why you feel the way you do about certain events that occur outside of your control? Could that knowledge decrease your stress, enable you to bounce back quicker, lighten your load, stimulate your sense of humor, move you out of negative energy and into forward movement?

Although my example was simple, it was a relief to understand why I remained certain about something I was wrong about.

Ahh, I get me!

I resolve to continue to understand who I am and strive to evolve into the best human possible while I’m here.

How about you?

We are complex and interesting individuals.

What do you need to learn about yourself that could help you in your career and life?

Recognizing our values makes life’s journey more productive and positive.

Inner Progress!

Happy New Year,

Kate

 

 

 

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Comments

  1. We don’t go through a day without “fact checking” since our family is always so sure about everything and says it in a very confident manner. Everyone has learned to fact check us. We also tend to exaggerate by one or two so another fact checking. It keeps us humble and now we second guess our “right” answers a bit more. In your case it can make you wonder why you wanted the ending to be your way or to interpret the whole story with a different ending.

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